Stress At Work (And I'm Getting Mushy)

Hello again. It's been a while since I have updated this blog, so I thought I'd fix that. I'm going to start using this one as more of a journal (it's original intention) since I write about politics and religion over at Red Town Blues.

Me with a silly chef hat. Unrelated to anything in this post, or my actual chef hat, but added because it's funny.

Stress At Work
I'm not usually one to complain about stupid shit, but this has been really stressing me out. At work they transferred my lead chef. Brady and I had a system worked out, we knew exactly what needed to be done, how to do it, and what we could both accomplish in a day. While he was my boss, he didn't have to boss me around. He gave me the list of things I needed to get done during the day, and I did it. No problems.

My new lead chef isn't fully trained yet. She has a week of sous cheffing under her belt, which isn't a problem, everyone has to learn sometime, but she has already taken the 'Boss' role. I don't need to be told what to do. I'm trained and capable. I know what it takes to fill our case, what sells, how much to make on any given day, and I have all the recipes committed to memory (I wish I didn't. I also have most of the product codes memorized to print price tags. I'm sure I will be 90 and remember this stuff). I don't need to be bossed around, but she doesn't seem to think so. I guess I really should just go with it. Just get into work, play the game, and go home. I just can't get why someone who is not fully trained thinks I need to be told what to do. I'm fucking training her! And now she wants to go look at how the other stores organize their cases so we can do it like them. Why, I ask, why would we do that? We consistently hit #1-#5, out of 14 stores. Also, we have a different physical set up than most stores. We can't copy them because we don't have the same coolers! I have low expectations for how this is going to turn out.

I'm also stressed because we have another new chef. She is learning fast, and I have no personal issues with her, but she is also not fully trained. That means on my days off, for the moment, we have two untrained chefs working the case. So when I get back, I'm gonna have a lot to fix. Things they didn't do, things they did all funky (new people always do funky things, I did when I was new. I had a chef trainer who was much more patient than I*), and things they put in wrong place. I know this will fix itself as time and training progress, but for now it really sucks.

*This is especially funny to me because I had an old coworker come into the store the other day. I told him I had two trainees and he said, "That sucks for you. You have, like, no patience."


Enough about work.

I'm Getting Mushy
On the 4th, Cori and I went up to her parents house. They live up on a hill on the east side and it has a great view of the valley for watching fireworks. Cori's oldest brother and his wife and kid came as well. We had a wonderful dinner, BBQ chicken (Bob makes great BBQ!), and had great conversation. But the part that I really enjoyed was when they were trying to teach Cori's nephew everyone's names. They were going across the table, pointing to everyone, "Grandpa, Grandma, GG (Great Grandma), Aunt Cori, Uncle Skyler." Then they stopped and looked at me and said, "Is that OK? Can he call you Uncle?" And I was like, "Ya! That's totally OK!" It warmed my heart and made me feel like more a part of the family (not that I didn't before). It's a feeling that's kind of stuck with me ever since. I'm considered an Uncle! I love it!

And then I realized that I must be getting old and mushy. If this was a few years ago I wouldn't have really cared, but now it makes my heart happy. Even more evidence I'm getting mushy is that I don't mind. I am totally OK with it, because it's totally fucking awesome! I'm an Uncle!

How To Behave(With Mormon Family)

In my early life I always had this feeling that I was supposed to be polite and not share my opinions on things. Especially when around my Mormon family. Now I was never told this, and it could just be my personality (they are family, why try and piss them off?), but I still always felt I was just supposed to keep quiet.

To understand where I am coming from, both early on, and later, in this post, you need to know a bit of my upbringing. I was never raised as an Atheist. I was never taught that there was no god(s), I was never taught that all religion is bullshit. In my home religion was a non-issue. We just never talked about it. At the time, my dad( a very vocal Atheist now) was not very talkative about his beliefs, at least not with me and my siblings. If we had questions he would answer them, but we were always told the decision was ours when we got older. We weren't allowed to go to most church things as children, but we were told why. My dad didn't want us to feel like we were outsiders, or those poor kids who haven't had god. He didn't want us to be indoctrinated, preferring to teach us to look at all things skeptically. I was personally OK with that. I went to church a few times and I thought it was a waste of a Sunday, and I went to the scouts once and was bored the entire time. So I was never told to dislike religion, only to look for evidence.

Back to my family. As a child I knew it was kinda expected that I not talk about that kinda stuff. As I started to get older, I could definitely tell that my opinion was not wanted. It was fine for my uncles and aunts (and, on occasion, cousins) to express their opinions on religion, but not me. I always thought that being quiet on the topics of religion and politics was polite, that it wasn't my place to share what I thought and make everyone uncomfortable, or even angry. And for a while I was OK with that. Keep to myself, don't make waves, keep the family happy.

Now that I am in, and moving through, my 20s, I have begun to see another view. Why should I have to be quiet? I am every bit as much a part of the family as they are. Why should I be expected to keep my mouth shut when they can openly spew their opinions? Now, when it comes to my family, I'm not necessarily spoiling for a fight, but I have recently taken to enjoying making them uncomfortable with my mere presence (it's like they can just sense my liberal-atheistness). I would never openly start an argument just for shits and giggles, but anymore I have come to believe one thing. If they feel they need to share their opinion about something, I feel they have invited me to share mine, feelings be damned. I am truly tired of having to be the silent party just to keep the peace. Why don't they not talk about it? I'm tired of feeling like a second class citizen within my own family. If they find what I have to say too shocking, they shouldn't talk it about while I'm around.  I am insulted that I have to be the one who keeps quiet, while they can say whatever they want and it's OK. I want the same respect that they expect me to give them. I may be younger, but I am not a child anymore.

I love my family, and I always will, but love means never having to apologize for who you are. I feel like sometimes they want me to.