I was having a discussion with a coworker that inspired me to write this. We were trying to think of a speech that Obama could make that would start riots in the streets. It is scarily easier than I originally thought.
Good evening my fellow Americans. I am here tonight to explain my newly proposed bill. You may have heard some rumors about it, and I assure you, they are all true. I have heard your complaints about my healthcare plan, and I assure you we will be removing it from the book. We will be replacing it with compulsory government issued healthcare. I have also heard the tea party's complaints about Medicare and government spending. I intend to cut government spending, and Medicare/Medicaid entirely, starting by removing any tea party members Medicare first. To help with the costs of the new healthcare system, I am instating an ammunition limit. Along with the limit, I will also be outlawing all firearms. Now to help our government bring in more revenue, I am also asking that we start taxing all churches. I said I would be introducing this new bill, and I lied. I have signed a presidential order and these laws were instated just 5 minutes before I addressed you.
Also, on a personal note, I am converting to Islam. Thank you, and goodnight.